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How to Read Mixed Signals and Turn It into Love

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Mixed signals from a guy or girl can be confusing and frustrating. Learn these tips on how to read mixed signals and make that person fall for you. By Morgan Miller

mixed signals

Falling in love with someone is a happy feeling.

But not when the one you like is blowing hot and cold with you.

Are you getting mixed signals from a guy or girl you like?

At times, mixed signals can be very frustrating.

But that’s only when you feel like you can’t understand what’s happening.

If you can predict the patterns of mixed signals while attracting someone, you’ll realize that a flirty game of mixed signals can be a lot of fun.

And when things do turn in your favor, your relationship would definitely sizzle with fiery passion.

[Read: How to text flirt with a friend]

What are mixed signals?

For the uninitiated, have you ever felt like someone likes you, but then you’re confused again?

If you feel like this special someone has affections for you at one time, and then see that they completely ignore you at another time, you’re probably experiencing a classic case of mixed signals in love.

The most basic idea you need to remember about mixed signals is that it’s mutual.

If you feel like there’s something going on, the person you like should feel the same way too. When both of you have secret interactions through eyes or subtle gestures at times and then completely ignore each other at other times, you’re building up a flirty game of mixed signals. [Read: 15 obvious flirting signs between a guy and a girl]

How to read mixed signals

Mixed signals aren’t hard to read. In fact, they’re really simple. But a flirty game of mixed signals is more insecure and unsteady than regular courtship. So if you want to enjoy the mixed signals you’re getting, don’t rush in looking for answers. Take your time, and enjoy the game.

#1 Play along. This is the first step in trying to end the game of mixed signals in your favor. Do you feel like someone’s trying to glance at you now and then, but then they completely avoid looking at you some other time? Or does the one you like flirt with you like they’re already in love with you, and then talk to you like just another friend the next morning? [Read: 20 signs of attraction in a conversation]

Don’t pull your hair out thinking about it. Relax. You know something’s up. Just enjoy the game and look for opportune moments to get flirty again.

#2 Challenge the game now and then. So you’ve been playing at the mercy of this person until now. You flirt when they flirt. You behave like a friend when they behave like a friend. Don’t be bound by their rules of the mixed signals game. Try to take control of it.

The next time this person tries to flirt with you or tries making eye contact, ignore them. By doing that, you’re letting this person know that you’re not a puppet and you can play the game too. This person may ignore you for a day or two, but they’ll start sending out mixed signals before the end of the week. By switching the control of the game now and then, you’ll make this person you like try to win your affection too and you won’t be the one with a crush anyone.

#3 Don’t burst out. As frustrating as mixed signals can be, don’t ever burst out or confront the one you like. They may be sending mixed signals, but you have no idea if this person actually likes you. By bursting out or forcing an answer out of this person, you’ll end up losing any chance of ever getting into a relationship with them. Just have fun and enjoy the flirty games.

#4 Are you misreading the signs? As fun as the games could be, you need to ask yourself if you’re misreading the signs. What if this person you like is not sending any mixed signals at all? What if you’re just making all the assumptions? [Read: Signs a guy is really into you]

Don’t let emotions cloud your mind. If a girl smiles at a guy or talks sweetly with him, the guy may assume she’s sexually interested in him. On the other hand, if a guy talks sweetly with a girl, the girl may assume he wants to get into a relationship with her. Make sure you’re reading the signs properly or you may end up looking foolish. [Read: 12 ways to find out if a girl likes you]

#5 Don’t fall for this person just yet. You may like this person already, but don’t fall head over heels in love just yet. The exchanging of mixed signals could just be a silly game to pass the time. You don’t know if this person likes you for sure. So until then, play along and have fun.

#6 Mixed signals are sexual. Mixed signals are mostly sexual, which means you need to create memories that would excite their sexual sides. Sometimes, they behave like they’re attracted to you and sometimes, they don’t. Use that in your favor. Learn to get closer or create memories when they’re warming up to you.

You could touch this person discreetly while walking past each other or you could sit really close to each other. Do anything as long as you give out the sexual vibe when you’re around this person. [Read: How to kiss a friend accidentally and get away with it]

#7 Learn from it. There are times when this person likes you a lot and other times when they don’t like you back. Why do you think they’re blowing hot and cold? Are they dating someone else? Are they having second thoughts about dating you?

Mixed signals are a confusion. But people don’t give out mixed signals just to play around. They give out mixed signals when they’re not sure about whether they want to date you or not. Whenever you’re with each other, try to charm this person and make them like you more. Perhaps, by making this person like you better, you could eventually date this person. [Read: Easy tips to start dating a friend]

#8 Don’t tell anyone else about it. Mixed signals are like secret games. You really shouldn’t tell anyone else about it, least of all, that person’s friends. If anyone else talks about it, you’ll end up bringing it out into the open. And when that happens, the person you like has to decide at once whether they want to date you or not. And when someone’s giving you mixed signals, they’re probably going to walk away from you. [Read: How to tell someone you love them without losing them]

At the same time, spreading the word that this person’s playing games with you may annoy the person who’s playing games with you. And you may just end up embarrassing yourself if no one believes you.

#9 Take a decision. Once you’ve started charming this person, hope for the best. Try to turn the mixed signals into romance if you want, or just have fun, or forget all about it. There may be too many reasons behind why you’re getting mixed signals from this person no matter what you do to impress them.

They may already be dating someone else or may be interested in someone else at the same time, they probably don’t think you’re good enough to date, their friends don’t approve of you, and who knows what other reasons there may be.

If this person you like starts warming up to you and stops giving out mixed signals, good for you. On the other hand, if it’s not working out in your favor, forget about it instead of breaking your head over it. Chances are, once you forget all about it, this person will want your attention and may start trailing you again! [Read: 10 subtle eye contact flirting tips that always work]

#10 The final confrontation. When you confront the one who’s giving you mixed signals, it almost always never ends well. They could just deny it and there’s not a thing you can do. But if this person’s been playing games with you for a long time and you can’t take it anymore, perhaps it’s time for confrontation.

Confront this person only if the mixed signals get overly obvious or if it’s affecting your mind and your sanity. But if you can deal with it, just walk away and start ignoring this person if they don’t reciprocate your feelings.

[Read: Signs to know if both of you are just friends or more than friends]

Reading mixed signals is never easy, and the only way to do it is to be patient and wait for the signs. So if you’re wondering if that good looker’s giving you mixed signals, use these 10 steps to make the secret flirting end in love.


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Have your say!
  • Maya
    May 28, 2012 | Permalink |

    Alright, so just over a year ago, this guy in my english class (i am currently 17, in grade 11) who I had never even talked to or noticed added me on facebook and started talking to me. Since then, we have become friends, I have developed a crush on him, and we talk nearly every night for hours, and sit next to each other in class. He has told me on several occasions that he thinks I am pretty, and when I look good in some sort of clothing. He said we should dress up as Catwoman and Batman the other day, that I definately have the body for it, and that we would make the best duo. As well, the other day when I was sick, and he was asking me to go on skype, I said “No because I look awful” and he said “You could never look awful, I know you look amazing. And I’m pretty sure that a girl in bed with messy hair is a good thing ;) ” Now don’t get me wrong here, he is a very sweet guy and extremely nice, and he is always respectful. As well, he always walks me to my locker, and has hugged me a couple of times (which he initiated). He even recently asked me why we haven’t hugged in a while, and that I “have no choice in the matter, I am hugging you when I see you next”

    Now comes the confusing part. What I didn’t know for quite some time was that he had gotten a girl during the summer last year, who dumped him in September. He has been heartbroken ever since, and is still talking about how he can’t get her out of his head. She also happens to be in our current class, and I often find him glancing over at her. Also, he has many friends that are girls, and I know he also talks to them online. He often treats me just like a friend, and when ever I drop hints about some movie that’s out that looks good, he only replies by saying he wants to see it too, or “it looks good”
    So, my question is, WHAT ON EARTH IS THIS GUY THINKING? and what I should do about it? Should I confront him? What should I say if I do? Or should I continue to send out signals? And what signals should I send out? Please help! I don’t know what to do!

  • Daryn
    January 16, 2013 | Permalink |

    Okay, so I’m coming to you guys in desperate need of help.
    So this guy I like, (hes a freshman and Im a sophmore in HS) has been giving me the most annoying and awful mixed signals. First of all, he’s admitted to liking me. That was months before. When he did, he stopped talking to me and never asked me out so I told him I liked him back, and he told me “I am not ready for a relationship,right now” and stopped talking to me. For months uo to now we would jump through periods of him ignoring me and not talking at all, to flirting and actually disrupting class with our chatter. So now were caught up… So one week he will be flirting and starin at me in the halls, and we laugh and giggle and stuff, then this week, he openly flirted with another girl at lunch and it was more than he ever has with me amd broke the touch barrier… Then in band class he looked pissed and tired and over just uoset,so I ask him and hes “just tired”… Then later (cause he never brings his music he shares,off mine) he rips the peice we are playing, mid-song and puts it on his stand and pushes my stand back. He seemed to direct the anger at me because with my other girl-friend he is normal and nice like always and like that with all hus friends. I havent seen his mixed signals so string before and I dont want to loose him because I have kinda fallen head over heels for hi,.
    Help please! Also sorry for the typos, computers broken and had to type on my phone.

  • Heather
    February 27, 2013 | Permalink |

    Okay so long story cut short

    A while ago I found myself really attracted to this guy in my college, hes 21 and I’m 18. Whenever I was within his view he would always stare at me/check me out. We were introduced through a mutual friend but at the time I was too shy to hold a conversation with him, so instead he made the most random comment and asked if I was wearing brown contact lenses =S I never spoke to him again after this, not even a simple hello when I seen him.

    Nothing ever came of it, so I assumed he was not interested and I moved on.

    Yesterday I was talking to my friends about wanting to split up with my boyfriend when I realized that the same guy I found attractive was sitting right behind me with his friends. Both of my friends discretely commented that they had picked up on him constantly looking at me. Out of nowhere we all overheard him talking about how he had gone out on the weekend and give his number to some “really hot girl” he told his friend that this girl had called him and he couldn’t remember who she was.

    He told his friend that this girl had supposedly asked if he was single which he said he was, then she apparently asked if he liked anyone at college which he never commented on.

    I defiantly feel that he went out of his way to make sure that I overheard his conversation with his friend. My friends say it could be something, or nothing.

    Any ideas?

    If I am right should I act or do something? or is this a bad idea?

  • Nicki
    May 17, 2013 | Permalink |

    So there’s this guy and we’ve had our share of sexting and what not,but he’s totally ignored me for the past 2 months.I truely love him but now I’m starting to doubt if he feels the same.Can somebody say ‘MIXED SIGNALS’?

  • Cristal
    January 30, 2014 | Permalink |

    So there’s this guy I’ve known him since we were 13 and I liked him then. But then things happened and we stopped talking after a year I believe he came back and It was akuard but we learned to put the past behind us without talking about it. We started talking as friends offcourse and I fell for him again last year during a snow trip for our church I mean we got really close he’d sit close to me when we got back and almost have his lips next to mine while watching a movie. And during service at church we’d flirt whenever we say next to each other and I’d catch him staring here and there but he never wanted to talk to me online at all and we only saw each other on Sundays so I thought why not talk and get to know each other but I guess he never felt the same way. Well I’ve Been going through this with him for a while and I’m tired of these mixed feelings. I just want him to tell me he likes me or he doesn’t so I can just know and move on. I feel like I’ve gotten as close to falling in love with him. I don’t know what to do !! It’s killing me !!

  • Drained signals
    June 20, 2014 | Permalink |

    I like this guy and I’ve known him for a while. Our families both know eachother from church but we live in different towns and go to different high schools. I’m a bit older than him by a year but I really like him now and have liked him for 3 months or more. I’m very close with his siblings and his parents love me. At family gatherings and whatnot we always find the time to talk/playfully flirt with eachother. He’s always very touchy and we always make eye contact and smile at eachother. There’s always some kind of flirting and touching whenever we talk and he does things to catch my attention. Recently after a gathering I messaged him with a simple question about his sister and he didn’t answer. I did the same thing a while ago and he seems to always ignore my messages on Facebook…he seems intereste in person but blows me off when I try talking to him online which is a huge sign of something bad. What’s going on?

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