For the uninitiated, have you ever felt like someone likes you, but then you’re confused again?
If you feel like this special someone has affections for you at one time, and then see that they completely ignore you at another time, you’re probably experiencing a classic case of mixed signals in love.
The most basic idea you need to remember about mixed signals is that it’s mutual.
If you feel like there’s something going on, the person you like should feel the same way too. When both of you have secret interactions through eyes or subtle gestures at times and then completely ignore each other at other times, you’re building up a flirty game of mixed signals. [Read: 15 obvious flirting signs between a guy and a girl]
How to read mixed signals
Mixed signals aren’t hard to read. In fact, they’re really simple. But a flirty game of mixed signals is more insecure and unsteady than regular courtship. So if you want to enjoy the mixed signals you’re getting, don’t rush in looking for answers. Take your time, and enjoy the game.
#1 Play along. This is the first step in trying to end the game of mixed signals in your favor. Do you feel like someone’s trying to glance at you now and then, but then they completely avoid looking at you some other time? Or does the one you like flirt with you like they’re already in love with you, and then talk to you like just another friend the next morning? [Read: 20 signs of attraction in a conversation]
Don’t pull your hair out thinking about it. Relax. You know something’s up. Just enjoy the game and look for opportune moments to get flirty again.
#2 Challenge the game now and then. So you’ve been playing at the mercy of this person until now. You flirt when they flirt. You behave like a friend when they behave like a friend. Don’t be bound by their rules of the mixed signals game. Try to take control of it.
The next time this person tries to flirt with you or tries making eye contact, ignore them. By doing that, you’re letting this person know that you’re not a puppet and you can play the game too. This person may ignore you for a day or two, but they’ll start sending out mixed signals before the end of the week. By switching the control of the game now and then, you’ll make this person you like try to win your affection too and you won’t be the one with a crush anyone.
#3 Don’t burst out. As frustrating as mixed signals can be, don’t ever burst out or confront the one you like. They may be sending mixed signals, but you have no idea if this person actually likes you. By bursting out or forcing an answer out of this person, you’ll end up losing any chance of ever getting into a relationship with them. Just have fun and enjoy the flirty games.
#4 Are you misreading the signs? As fun as the games could be, you need to ask yourself if you’re misreading the signs. What if this person you like is not sending any mixed signals at all? What if you’re just making all the assumptions? [Read: Signs a guy is really into you]
Don’t let emotions cloud your mind. If a girl smiles at a guy or talks sweetly with him, the guy may assume she’s sexually interested in him. On the other hand, if a guy talks sweetly with a girl, the girl may assume he wants to get into a relationship with her. Make sure you’re reading the signs properly or you may end up looking foolish. [Read: 12 ways to find out if a girl likes you]
#5 Don’t fall for this person just yet. You may like this person already, but don’t fall head over heels in love just yet. The exchanging of mixed signals could just be a silly game to pass the time. You don’t know if this person likes you for sure. So until then, play along and have fun.
#6 Mixed signals are sexual. Mixed signals are mostly sexual, which means you need to create memories that would excite their sexual sides. Sometimes, they behave like they’re attracted to you and sometimes, they don’t. Use that in your favor. Learn to get closer or create memories when they’re warming up to you.
#7 Learn from it. There are times when this person likes you a lot and other times when they don’t like you back. Why do you think they’re blowing hot and cold? Are they dating someone else? Are they having second thoughts about dating you?
Mixed signals are a confusion. But people don’t give out mixed signals just to play around. They give out mixed signals when they’re not sure about whether they want to date you or not. Whenever you’re with each other, try to charm this person and make them like you more. Perhaps, by making this person like you better, you could eventually date this person. [Read: Easy tips to start dating a friend]
#8 Don’t tell anyone else about it. Mixed signals are like secret games. You really shouldn’t tell anyone else about it, least of all, that person’s friends. If anyone else talks about it, you’ll end up bringing it out into the open. And when that happens, the person you like has to decide at once whether they want to date you or not. And when someone’s giving you mixed signals, they’re probably going to walk away from you. [Read: How to tell someone you love them without losing them]
At the same time, spreading the word that this person’s playing games with you may annoy the person who’s playing games with you. And you may just end up embarrassing yourself if no one believes you.
#9 Take a decision. Once you’ve started charming this person, hope for the best. Try to turn the mixed signals into romance if you want, or just have fun, or forget all about it. There may be too many reasons behind why you’re getting mixed signals from this person no matter what you do to impress them.
They may already be dating someone else or may be interested in someone else at the same time, they probably don’t think you’re good enough to date, their friends don’t approve of you, and who knows what other reasons there may be.
If this person you like starts warming up to you and stops giving out mixed signals, good for you. On the other hand, if it’s not working out in your favor, forget about it instead of breaking your head over it. Chances are, once you forget all about it, this person will want your attention and may start trailing you again! [Read: 10 subtle eye contact flirting tips that always work]
#10 The final confrontation. When you confront the one who’s giving you mixed signals, it almost always never ends well. They could just deny it and there’s not a thing you can do. But if this person’s been playing games with you for a long time and you can’t take it anymore, perhaps it’s time for confrontation.
Confront this person only if the mixed signals get overly obvious or if it’s affecting your mind and your sanity. But if you can deal with it, just walk away and start ignoring this person if they don’t reciprocate your feelings.
Reading mixed signals is never easy, and the only way to do it is to be patient and wait for the signs. So if you’re wondering if that good looker’s giving you mixed signals, use these 10 steps to make the secret flirting end in love.
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Morgan Miller is a writer who lives in the Bay area, and suffers from an addiction to all things geeky and artsy. She loves wearing leggings as pants, and when ...