Knowing how to get your friend to like you isn’t something most people learn in their lifetime and it makes them lose out. Don’t be that person.
There’s not much more frustrating than a friend who just doesn’t like you back. You’ve been their friend for what seems like ages and yet, you just can’t get any further than being friends with them. Knowing how to get your friend to like you isn’t something that comes naturally.
In fact, not many people know how to do it. And that’s why there’s this magical, irritating thing called the friend zone. It’s basically a nice little place someone puts you in when they want you in their life but don’t want to date you. Which means if you like them, you’re kind of screwed.
Being in the friend zone isn’t always bad, though
As much as it seems like the worst place to be when you have strong feelings for them, it’s actually one of the best places because it’s much easier to learn how to get your friend to like you when you have frequent access to them. You know them the best. You’re always right there.
How to get your friend to like you when you’re stuck in the friend zone
I get how irritating it can be. You’re putting your feelings on the line, not to mention your friendship. But if you want the payout to be big, you’ll have to be willing to risk those things.
Because dating your friend isn’t easy. You have to think about so much more than if they just say yes or no. If you’re truly ready to go for it and you want to know how to get your friend to like you, follow these tips.
#1 Stop letting them talk about their crush. Or about anyone they used to or still do like. When you become their vent and they feel as though they can talk to you about their feelings for other people, you’re cutting off their ability to see you as a potential partner.
Instead, you need to just change the conversation or even tell them you’re not a fan of hearing about the people they have crushes on. This also sends the message that you hope to be one of those people someday. [Read: How to be affectionate without smothering them]
#2 Don’t talk about other people you like around them. If you like your friend as way more than just a friend, you need to stop making them think you like other people. You might just do this as a way of hiding how you feel but it just makes them think you truly are into other people.
How are you ever supposed to get them to like you when they’re under the impression you’re into someone else? Keep quiet if you think other people are attractive, too.
#3 Compliment them in new ways. You probably have your standard friendship compliments they’ve heard a hundred time. Tell them something else. Talk about how you think hair looks amazing or how incredible they are for landing that promotion.
#4 Flirt! A huge difference between friends and people who are dating is flirting. If you’re not flirting with your friend, you’ll never break down that friend zone wall. You need to start sending the signals that you like them and there’s no better way than flirting.
#5 Show them your sensitive side. If your friend has never seen you be cute and romantic, how will they ever be able to look at you that way? Show them you can be sensitive and adorable. Tell them something you’ve never told anyone else.
Opening up and showing them something very personal can help them see you in a new light. When you’re vulnerable, you bond closer with someone and that’s what you need to do if you want to know how to get your friend to like you. [Read: 20 questions to ask to show her your sensitive side]
#6 Make them think of you as a significant other. Have they ever seen you be a partner to someone? If you’ve been single the entire time you’ve been friends or they haven’t seen you be a boyfriend or girlfriend, show them what it would be like.
Talk about how, if they were your boyfriend or girlfriend, you’d do certain things for them. As a matter of fact, show them. Just act like they’re yours already and they’ll see just how much they mean to you.
#7 Don’t spend too much time together anymore. You can’t spend every waking moment together and expect anything to change. You need to separate that and slow down. This way, they’ll be extra excited to see you and they can see what life would be like without you, which won’t be good.
#8 Let them miss you. Haven’t you ever heard that distance makes the heart grow fonder? Instead of just cutting your hangouts shorter, spend longer amounts of time away from them, too. Make them come to you. If they miss you, they’ll see how much they truly need you in their life. [Read: How to make someone realize they’re losing you]
#9 Look good. We can’t deny that humans like people who are attractive. As much as we all like to say we’re not shallow in that way, physical attraction is essential to a healthy relationship. So start dressing nicer and looking for put together. They’ll definitely notice.
#10 Sit closer than you normally do. This is all about closing the distance between the two of you and climbing over that friend zone wall. If they sit on the couch, sit right next to them. Getting closer is also a huge way of showing how much you like them.
#11 Touch them more. Physical touches increase intimacy by a lot. You really need to be actively closing that distance and showing them that you can be sweet and gentle, too.
Next time you see each other, give them a hug. Put your hand on the girl’s lower back if you’re a guy. Ladies, touch him on the arms and shoulders when he makes you laugh. It’s all about those little touches that’ll ignite something new in your friendship that’ll slowly burn into something more. [Read: 20 types of physical touches and what they mean]
#12 Treat them as a significant other and not a friend. Fake it ‘til you make it, right? Act as though they’re already your boyfriend or girlfriend. Do all the sweet and adorable things you’d do for someone you’re dating.
Showing them this side of you and that they could have even more of it is a perfect way to get them to start liking you. You just have to be yourself and learn what it takes to make someone feel special and loved. [Read: How to kiss a friend accidentally and get away with it]
#13 Tell them you have feelings for them. If all else fails, just tell them. Chances are, if you’ve done all of the above things, they already know you like them as more than a friend. Sometimes there’s just nothing more you can do and they might not like you back.
If this happens, just separate yourself from them for a little bit so you can get over them. This distance might actually make your friend realize they like you as more than a friend, too.
Learning how to get your friend to like you can back be especially difficult if you’ve only been friends for a very long time. You basically have to relearn how to act and start treating them like a stranger you happen to like.
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Bella is a lifestyle writer, cheese enthusiast (Wisconsin native over here) and fantasy adventure author-in-progress who enjoys all things love, dog, p...