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How to Ask a Friend Out

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Want to know how to ask a friend out? Here are all the tips you need to warm your friend up and pop the questions at the right time, in the right manner.

Click here to read the introduction on what to do when you like a friend before you follow these steps.

How to ask a friend out

Figuring the exact way on how to ask a friend out can be tricky and confusing.

After all, the repercussions of asking a friend out can be quite unpredictable, and can change the relationship forever.

So how do you ask a friend out on a date? You may have had a crush on a friend for a long time, but unless you really know how to tell your friend that you like them, don’t tell them.

Instead, warm your friend up into love the right way, and before you know it, your friend might just fall in love with you!

How to ask a friend out

In almost four cases out of five, when you ask a friend out, it is turned down. It’s not because you’re not attractive or fun to be with, it’s just that there was no reason for your friend to look at you as a potential date.

And when that happens, it can be very embarrassing and painful, and at the same time, your relationship with your friend can never stay the same.

It wasn’t like you asked someone out and then became friends with them.

In this case, you actually asked a friend out. And it’s a big difference.

So really, you’ve created a major flaw in this whole scenario. You never really did let your friend know you’ve got more than friends on your mind. Had you made that clear, perhaps, your friend would be able to give you a thought as a potential mate. [Read: How to talk to a guy and make him like you]

So what happens then?

There you are, lost in the buzzing of surprise, frustration and sadness spinning within your head. This doesn’t make any sense, does it? Both of you have always shared the best moments together, and have loved all the times you’ve shared with each other… Now what was the need for your friend to respond in this manner, you ask yourself.

You know what you remind me of?

You remind me of one of the hundred sky divers who jumped off the airplane, and you were the only one who’s never done this before! That’s not stupid enough? Well, consider this, you’ve forgotten to strap on your parachute! Freaky, don’t you think? Well, a sudden, unexpected proposal of love feels just as shocking.

There are a few better ways to let your crush know you like them. Ways that are a lot safer and have fewer odds against you. And something that won’t leave you broken hearted in the end.

Never use the stupidest and most common ploy, which is getting psychotically drunk, and either grabbing them and groping everywhere, or droning on about how much you love them, and since how long, and how you want to get married and have babies together. That will most likely make your friend run away screaming. Or you’ll find them back again, this time with a chainsaw! And all this even if they ever fancied you in the first place. You might call this an act of punch drunk love, but everyone else calls it the evidence for a restraining order!

Creating the perfect setting for love

If you want to let your friend know what’s on your mind, let them know, but do it in a very subtle manner. To begin with, flirt a bit. See if you get anything reciprocating back towards you. It’s hard to judge these things because we all know that flirting between friends can be cute at times. [Read: How to flirt by touching]

So look for those signs to see if they are genuinely flirting back with you. Accept it that there is no sure shot sign to know that your friend is getting infatuated by you unless they grab you near the corner and start cuddling you, but you could at least let them know that they are looking at a new side of you, something that they hopefully, will like.

[Read: How to tell if a guy likes you]

[Read: How to tell if a girl likes you]

Don’t ever behave like a doormat when this friend is around, and don’t throw yourself at their feet. Have fun when the both of you are together, and make sure you give your crush a lot of space. Let your friend miss you once in a while, let them know that being with you is fun and something that they enjoy. This is probably the best way to get your crush to like you.

Once you think the time is right and you feel that your friend has got enough of a hint to wonder if there’s something more than just friendship brewing between the both of you, get your moves right. Be brave, find the perfect time, and a quiet moment, and ask them if they want to go out with you sometime. Yes, as more-than-just-friends. Let your friend know that there’s no pressure, and if they don’t want to, it’s alright and you’d be happy to remain good friends. Be prepared for a knock back, and hope for the best. [Quiz: Going from friend to lover]

If it doesn’t work out…

You’ve tried your best, you’ve got your message across and there’s nothing more you can do. But be nice, however disappointed you feel. You may have built things up in your head, but it’s not your fault that your friend didn’t see things the way you wanted them to see it. Make it a point to keep in touch, but don’t trail along like you’ve got no one else or nothing better to do. And stop whining about the great love that never was.

Scrap it down as an experience. Make sure your life doesn’t revolve around this friend, however hard it might seem. This would only make things harder for you as well for your friend. Have fun with other people and try finding someone who fancies you just as much as you fancy them.

If your friend accepts…

Lucky you! Told ya it’ll work! Good for you!

[Read: Going from friend to lover – The complete guide]

So now that you know how to ask a friend out, keep these pointers in mind and always remember to play it cautious. Send out a few signals and try to find out what your friend thinks of you before you pop the question.


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Have your say!
  • Dexter
    June 17, 2011 | Permalink |

    Guys I would warn you to be prepared for potential awkwardness though, especially if your friend does not have romantic feelings for you. Speaking from my personal experience, it can take time to regain your platonic friendship. And if your friend does reciprocate your feelings, there can be an initial awkwardness as your interactions change from platonic to romantic.

  • Tatsumi
    May 27, 2013 | Permalink |

    From personal experience: I was interested in a friend, and I asked her out. She said no and it was awkward at first, but we went back to being friends. We then actually got so close that I would say we were best friends. I asked her out again, and she said yes. Three years later and we’re still dating. The problem the first time was that it caught her off guard, and she wasn’t interested in a relationship. The second time she was already thinking of me as a potential partner, and we were already flirty, and there was sexual tension. Also the article does bring up a good point with having fun with them and then spending a little time away so that they miss you. My girlfriend said told me that it helped get us together. Back before I asked her out, we spent a weekend hanging out and had a lot of fun. We then spent a couple days apart, and she said that she wasn’t having as much fun, and she realized that it was because I wasn’t there.

  • Dave
    March 18, 2014 | Permalink |

    Hi all could really do wiv a bit of help or advise please
    I’m 22 and My best friend is a girl that is 6 years older than me we’ve known each other for over 10 years but we have been really close for the last 5 of them we both have a lot in common, make each other laff and we both tell each other everything and always do most things together all the time the reason why we got so close as friends is that at the time she was in a violent relationship I was there during quite a few incidents were I had to stand up to her fella cuz I’m not having it knowone should be abused emotionally or physically full stop, a few months later they both split and she was in a bit of a mess with it all she wasn’t eating or sleeping properly but she would call me most days for advise and company so I ended up being her shoulder to cry on I made sure she ate everyday and cheerd her up when she was down after that we became really close and we’ve been abit like glue ever since were always there for one another and are always helping each other out and since we’ve been so close over the years a lot of people always say you two should get together or you two make the perfect couple we’ve also been accused a lot over the years of doing stuff wiv each other even tho we havnt at all, I’ve been single for nearly 5 years aswell as I just can’t find the right one wear as she’s had 3 boyfriends in that space of time all of which have messed her about with either mind games, lies, controlling her calling her horrible names and using her we’ve actually had a better relaitionship together as friends than she’s had with any of them but we had a bit of a bust up around last september over something so stupid really and she cried her eyes out to me cuz she didn’t want to lose me and it takes a hell of a lot to make her cry we made up and ever since then I felt we both got even closer and I started having a lot more feelings for her she started txtin me first thing in mornings ring me on my brakes at work for a chat and spoke to me really late at night but a week before valentines day she broke up with her fella and I knew full well it was wrong but I thought the only way I could tell her how I felt in so many words would be on valentines day through a card so I did and I explained that my friendship is really important to me I don’t want to lose the bond we’ve grown over the years she told me she was really shocked and only seen me as a brother after that she wouldn’t really speak to me at all and went really distant from me for about 3 weeks I gave her a lot of space and I reassured her that she could still trust me and still talk to me about anything and ide still always be there for her and she eventually came round for a chat and ever since we’ve grown really close again but even more open with each other which is brill but I still love her and I know full well I could really make her happy and look after her but I’m really confused I don’t want to ruin my friendship at all
    But could there still be a chance for me cuz I can’t keep beating myself up over it like I have been doing and if there isn’t il have to distance myself right away from her cuz she’s all I think about

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