Finding that special someone is a goal for almost everyone. And it’s not easy. One way to help find that person for you is taking a break from dating.
You might be thinking I’m crazy to say this but I promise I’m not. Finding “the one” can be one of the hardest things you’ll ever do. You’ll date a lot of people and even end up with a few broken hearts in the process. But in order to make finding that special someone easier, taking a break from dating is something to think about.
How can you find your special love if you’re not even dating, you ask? Well, there’s no simple answer to that. But if you’re someone who’s a serial dater, it’s probably your best option. You can’t go around dating a ton of different people. If you do, you’ll never find someone worth spending your life with.
Mistakes we all make in the dating game
It’s true that we all make mistakes when dating. We get into a new relationship with someone and end up ruining something before it has even started. Most of these mistakes have to do with our views on dating in general.
Many of us make the mistake of asking to be exclusive WAY too early. We go on one date and immediately want to be in an exclusive relationship. A lot of us also make the mistake of dating the wrong person for us. We THINK we know what we want and end up with people who are the worst for us. [Read: 10 worst mistakes couples make when dating]
How taking a break from dating can help you find that special person
Getting out of the dating game is probably not something you’ve ever thought of when it comes to finding your life partner. But it’s definitely something you should think about now.
When you’re not in a relationship or dating someone for a long period of time, there are many things that happen. Each other these reasons prove just how beneficial taking a break from dating can really be. So stop going on dates and focus on yourself. [Read: 16 signs you’re definitely not ready to date]
#1 You stop “looking.” When you’re trying to find the person you’ll spend the rest of your life with, you’re constantly looking. This is especially true for those of us surrounded with people getting engaged and married.
You see everyone else happy and you’re determined to feel the same. So you look at every single person you meet as a potential spouse. This may seem okay, but it blinds you to the truth about that person. When you’re not dating, you stop looking and allow someone’s unique personality and characteristics to shine through.
#2 You get to know yourself better. This is probably the most important reason taking a break from dating can help you find the one. You learn who you are. This is something many people think they know, but actually don’t.
When you’re constantly dating, you’re always molding yourself to fit someone else’s needs. You lose sight of who you truly are. When you stop dating, you’re allowing yourself to get back to your roots. And that will attract the RIGHT person for you. [Read: Ask yourself these questions to find out who you really are]
#3 You find out what you really want. Much like you get to know yourself better, you also get to know what you want. You may think you have an idea of the perfect person for you, but that image is probably skewed by the people you’ve been with thus far.
And how did those relationships work out? When you get out of the dating game, you learn what’s missing in your life. This helps you determine what characteristics you really love and appreciate in a partner.
#4 You open yourself up to someone new. If you’re constantly in a relationship, you’re not available to meet someone who is potentially much better for you. You completely take yourself off the market. This causes you to turn down dates with people who might be a better match.
So taking a break from dating will keep you available for when the right person does come along. You’ll have no reservations about saying yes and getting to know them – so long as you weren’t out there “looking” for them again. [Read: How to meet the one without appearing desperate]
#5 A sex break will only do you good. Sex can really mess with our minds. We sometimes think that physical attraction can overwrite any other kind. And when you’re always dating someone and getting some action, your thinking is clouded.
So taking yourself out of the dating game and also not sleeping with anyone helps you see people for who they really are – and not for how they make you feel in bed.
#6 You focus on building your own life. You know what’s more important than finding a life partner? Building your own life. Building a life you’re proud of and you’re happy to live. You can’t expect to be happy in a relationship if you’re so unhappy with everything else. [Read: 13 things you need for a satisfying life]
#7 You’ll learn new ways to love. Romantic love isn’t the only type of love out there and you need all of the types to make a relationship last. Taking a break from dating can help you learn new ways to love that can only help when you meet that special someone.
#8 You’ll realize that you’ll find more when you’re not obsessed with it. Have you ever heard the saying, “a watched pot never boils?” Well, this is exactly the mentality behind taking a break from dating.
When you’re not obsessed with finding love, love will eventually just find you. But if you’re so focused on it, you might actually miss it when it comes and hits you right in the face. [Read: Should you wait for love to come to you?]
#9 You’ll find clarity. When you step away from love and relationships, you’re able to see things more clearly. You’ll be able to figure out what went wrong in your past relationships and this can help you fix those things in yourself.
You may need to work on a few things before you can really be happy with someone else. If you don’t have someone clouding your perception with their ideas and their opinions, you’ll be able to see yourself clearly for who you are in a relationship.
#10 You learn what love is. You may not have a clue what love truly is because you’re bouncing from relationship to relationship. However, if you take a break from dating and step back from all of it, you can see if you truly have ever even felt love.
You may be surprised to learn that you have no idea what true love feels like. It may not be something you’ve ever experienced but you might not be able to know that without separating yourself from a partner.