Just because you get along and like the same things, doesn’t make you compatible. Here’s how to know if you’re dating someone you’re compatible with.
They say that opposites attract. This may be true for many, and while I may agree that two people of different characteristics might find initial attraction towards each other, it is compatibility that would ultimately keep their relationship together. Compatibility and chemistry are two entirely different things, and both are essential in maintaining a healthy relationship.
Have you ever wondered what makes you and your date click? When you are compatible with each other, it means that you are attuned to your partner’s sensibilities. Compatibility in a relationship can help determine whether or not you and your partner are meant to be together for the long haul.
Being truly compatible with each other means so much more than sharing the same beliefs or interests. True compatibility means that your personalities mesh well with each other. While you might find someone who is as free-spirited as you are and enjoys the same things you like, your life goals may be different. You may have completely opposite tastes and personalities, but when the tough times come, your opposite personalities complement each other. Aren’t relationships complicated?
The true test of compatibility is spending time together, and not just those little dates that you both plan out for each other. The true test of compatibility lies in spending an extended amount of time together while getting through different situations together, both the tough ones and the happy ones.
Are you and your partner a good match?
How does one discern true compatibility? Take a look at your relationship, and see if you spot any of these signs of compatibility.
#1 You see each other through the trying times. It’s true that it’s the trying times that would truly test your compatibility, not the easy ones. The trying times would show the true test of one’s character. The trying times would show you how you would be able to handle conflicts and difficulties.
Would both of you be able to handle the arguments and still be able to support each other, despite the situation that you’re both in? This is the reason why many relationships don’t last: the tough times that serve to test the strength the relationship end up breaking it. [Read: 25 must-follow relationship rules for happy love]
#2 You don’t question the love in your relationship. When you are secure in your partner’s love, you know that your relationship can do no wrong. When you feel each other’s love despite the fights and the disagreements, then you know that you have found the one that you are compatible with.
#3 You know each other’s deepest secrets. Honesty is important in a relationship. Sharing secrets can show you how compatible you are with your partner. Trust and honesty just show how invested you both are in your relationship, despite knowing each other’s darker side.
#4 You could spend time in silence without it being awkward. When you spend time with each other, you can do “your own thing” without having to put up with any awkward silence. There is uncomfortable silence where you feel like you have to fill the air with some form of small talk, and then there is comforting silence where there’s no pressure to start babbling about anything to stave off the awkwardness. If you have the latter, you can say you’re compatible. [Read: 8 ways to avoid the awkward silences during a date]
#5 Your relationship still feels fresh. Being together for a long time can pave the way for monotony and boredom to seep in. However, as time goes by, you can either let your relationship stagnate or let it grow into something more meaningful. The feeling that you’re still learning, growing, and enjoying in your relationship through the years is a sure sign of compatibility. [Read: 10 steps to ignite the lost spark in a relationship]
#6 There is still mutual attraction. You know that you are compatible with each other when you find that, after all the time you have spent together, you can still find your partner attractive. While sex isn’t everything in a relationship, it is important that you and your partner are physically intimate with each other. There should still be a spark that keeps the flame alive! [Read: Why is physical attraction important in a relationship?]
#7 You can be your true self around your partner. Some relationships fail because people put up a front to ensure that their partner will still like them. Thus, what happens is that their partner becomes compatible with their mask, and not their true selves.
If you’re able to show your partner your silliness, your idiosyncrasies, your weirdness, and your weaknesses without fear that they will no longer love you, and the same is true for your partner, you can then be confident that you and your partner are a great match.
#8 You see a future with each other. You know that you are compatible with your partner when you see a future with each other, settling down, getting married, and having children together. You know that it is true compatibility when you see beyond the fantasy wedding that you will have. You plan a life together with them, despite knowing that it won’t always be smooth sailing. You see yourself growing old with them, and supporting each other in your old age.
#9 You don’t want to change your partner. They say that people don’t change unless they want to. You know you are compatible with your partner when you respect them as an individual. Sure, they might have some quirks which you might find to be immature or annoying, at times. You might find that the way they dress, sleep, or eat is something that you don’t like, but it’s part of the package, and you wouldn’t change them either way.
#10 Your partner makes you want to bring out the best in you. Couples who are really compatible with each other bring out the best in each other. They have that drive to push you forward and bring out the best in you. They support you in good times and in bad times. They cheer you on as you work your way through law school or insist on being a stay-at-home parent. They are your greatest fan, and you know you can always count on them to cheer you on and have your back whenever you are down. [Read: 9 ways you and your partner bring out each other’s best]
Love is never enough to save a relationship. You might have all the love in the world for each other, but it is never enough to get you through the difficult times. Love can be fickle, and will ultimately fly out the window once there are conflicts and arguments that remain unresolved.
Your compatibility with your partner will help your relationship withstand the test of time. Without it, you will only end up fighting over your differences, until you realize that there’s no way you can stand to stay with each other.
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Colleen Anne Javellana
I'm a quirky and passionate individual who believes in True Love. I live for deep conversations and a good novel to read. I am in love with Life, and I want to ...