As you spend your days drooling over someone, it doesn’t mean they’re doing the same. So, how do you know when the signs of sexual tension say it’s mutual?
When it comes to who likes who, people are weird. Trust me, some of the guys I liked, no one was able to figure out why. I mean, I didn’t even know why I liked them, I just did. Maybe it was something in their eyes or the way they smiled—but the point is, I was into them. Usually, they were never into me. So you can imagine my surprise when I was starting to feel signs of sexual tension.
But after a couple encounters with guys who were into me, I figured it out pretty fast that they weren’t in need of a bathroom, rather, they were actually into me. Listen, you don’t need to tiptoe around your crush, trying to figure out if there’s something between you or not. Instead, follow the signs.
Of course, sometimes they can be wrong, but more often than not, they’re right. So, here are the 14 signs of sexual tension you need to keep your eye on. Once you know what they are, this will be a breeze.
#1 You feel it. When there’s sexual tension, you actually feel it. Now, the feeling varies from person to person, but this isn’t the feeling you get when you crush on someone. Usually, this feeling spreads throughout your entire body. However, it’s felt mostly in your erogenous zones. These areas are your neck, breasts, groin—areas which are heightened during sex. [Read: 13 lusty signs of sexual attraction that build up to sexual tension]
#2 Heavy on the eye contact. No, they’re not looking at you because there’s something stuck in your teeth. They look at you because they want you. Though it’s normal to have eye contact with someone you talk to, they’re not looking at you normally. There’s an intensity in their eyes and they’re locked on you. Deep eye contact is a huge sign of sexual tension. [Read: Mastering the art of eye fucking]
#3 It’s all in the touch. Now, this doesn’t mean they’re grabbing your ass. If so, find someone who respects you a little bit more. I’m talking about innocent touching, subtle flirty touching. Maybe they touch your arm when they laugh, place their hand on your back, remove the straggling hair out of your face. These are minor gestures but close the gap between you and them.
#4 It’s all about the smiles. No one wastes a genuine smile on someone they’re not into. If you and this person smile all the time around each other then that’s a pretty good sign they enjoy their time with you. Smiling is an automatic response to things that make us feel good and happy.
#5 They talk up close. Like up real close. Maybe they’re naturally people who invade personal space when speaking. I’ve met a couple, but more likely than not, they’re into you. Why else would you talk so close to someone you’re not into? It doesn’t make sense. Usually, when we don’t like someone, we make sure there’s a decent amount of space between one another.
#6 There’s a lot of laughing. Unless the person is genuinely hilarious, we usually don’t laugh with people we’re not attracted to. If you’re into someone, whatever they say you most likely find hilarious. So, with that being said, if you find this person laughing at almost everything you say, they’re probably crushing on you hard. [Read: How to flirt with your crush and make them fall hard]
#7 There aren’t any awkward silences. This doesn’t mean that there aren’t silences, don’t get me wrong. Silences are a bad thing, but in this case, there aren’t any awkward ones, you know, the ones that leave you with a weird feeling in your stomach. If there are silences, they only continue to build up the tension between you two.
#8 They move in close. They’re not only close talkers, but they also close the gap when you’re not talking. They lean in close when you speak, they sit right next to you with your legs touching. The closer a person is, the stronger the sexual tension is between you two.
#9 Their eyes are all over you. They are definitely wandering, not looking at other people, but looking at you. They check you out whenever they get the opportunity. Looking at your face, your body—they have their eye set on what they find attractive and that’s you. You catch them staring at your lips longer than intended. Well, they want them. [Read: 13 signs of sexual attraction you just can’t miss]
#10 Flirtatious jokes. They pull out some naughty but nice jokes around you, seeing how you react to them. They start as innocent jokes, however, through time, they develop a naughtier tone, giving you subtle cues to what they really want. The naughtier these jokes grow, the more the sexual tension develops.
#11 You feel they’re going to kiss you. There’s that moment when you feel they’re going to kiss you. You both smile and lean into one another and then there’s that feeling that pops up. The feeling that makes you question if you should kiss them right now. If you have that feeling, it’s probably mutual. [Read: What does sexual tension feel like? This is how it feels]
#12 They give you long pauses. They’re dumbfounded by you. A long pause ending with a smile shows that they’ve been thinking about you. You may have been talking, but they haven’t been listening. They’ve daydreamed about kissing you the entire time.
#13 You have a feeling of more. You feel this person wants something from you but they don’t say it. On the other hand, you also want to tell them that you find them sexy and you don’t. There’s this unspoken truth underlying in the relationship you have. It’s an energy in the air that no one addresses. [Read: 10 ways to build sexual tension the flirty way]
#14 Other people comment on you two. It’s not just you that think something is going on, other people openly make comments about the chemistry and sexual tension between you. Oh, you thought only you two could see it? Nah, everyone feels sexual tension between two people.
Now that you know what the signs are, there’s no need to try to wrap your head around the situation. Do you see more than a couple of these signs of sexual tension? Then, there’s a good chance sexual tension is happening between you two.
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A serial dater, Natasha Ivanovic knows a thing or two about men and the dating scene. Much of her writing is inspired by her encounters with men - and for good ...