Whether you choose to believe it or not, there are rules of texting. So, if you wonder why you don’t get a reply, there’s a reason.
People who say dating is easy are liars. It’s not easy. There are all these unspoken rules we must figure out, usually by bombing our date. After a couple failed attempts, we see our mistakes. But, it’s a lot easier to see where you went wrong on an actual date than through text. Did you even know there were rules of texting?
If you say something awkward or inappropriate, you see your date’s physical reaction. Maybe they look at you oddly or squirm in their seat. The point is, you rewind the date in your mind and pinpoint exactly where you screwed up.
With texting, it’s a little different. Sure, they may have texted “haha” but did they really find that funny? Or if they say “ok” does that mean the conversation is over and they’re no longer interested? See, it’s not that easy to interpret. But there are some texting rules to follow or go by that helps you sail smoothly through your conversations via text. [Read: The no-fail signs a guy likes you through texting]
Rules of texting you need to follow
Follow these texting rules and it eliminates some of the basic issues that come with texting. If you still have bad luck with texting, it’s time to look at what you text rather than how you text. The rules of texting are not as hard as you think.
#1 Grammar and spelling matter. You may think saying “n2m” or “brb” is cool. Well, it was, back in 2008. But nowadays, spelling and grammar matter. If you want to use slang, use it with your friends. For people you’re interested in—speak English properly. You don’t want the person to feel as though they’re decrypting code. It’s not a turn on. [Read: 20 unwritten rules for savvy text flirting]
#2 Re-read your texts out loud. You may think it’s weird, but reading your texts out loud to yourself gives you a better idea of how the other person will interpret it. For example, if they ask you how you are and you write, “I’m fine.” It comes across as though you’re upset and distant. So, double check your message by reading it out to yourself.
#3 Watch out with jokes. When you make a joke sitting in front of someone, they hear your voice and see your face which helps indicate that what you said is a joke. However, via text, they see nothing.
Sometimes, when we joke over text, people misinterpret it which makes for a messy situation. Instead, to be totally safe, use emojis at the end of the joke such as a wink face. It helps lead them in the right direction. [Read: 12 common texting habits of girls that push guys away]
#4 You don’t have to wait to respond. I know people say you should wait a couple minutes before replying, but why? Why wait when the conversation flows. Though, if you feel you come across as overeager, wait a couple minutes to reply. Overall, you shouldn’t overthink the response time, just do what feels right for you in that moment. If they like you, they’ll answer. [Read: Double texting and seconds texts – How to play it cool]
#5 Know when to end the conversation. The people that fail at texting are the ones that try to keep the conversation going when it clearly is dying out. This doesn’t mean you don’t have a chance with this person if the conversation ends.
In real life, conversations end, and people are still in love with each other. So, don’t think you must keep the conversation continuously going in order for you two to have a connection.
#6 Be calm. If you really like this person, being calm isn’t going to be easy. Of course, if they don’t message you right away you probably think they have someone else and they’re not interested. It doesn’t have to be the case. People work, people have families and friends, and also not everyone is an avid texter.
So, if they don’t reply to you right away, don’t sweat it. If they don’t reply to you that day, wait a day or two and then shoot them a message.
#7 Keep your texts short. No one wants to read an essay when they receive a text. Usually when they see a long text, they know it’s not good. Keep your message short and sweet. If it takes you more than thirty seconds to write, why not phone them instead? [Read: How to flirt over text and intrigue someone]
#8 Give what you get. If they write you back with one or two worded texts, give them the same response. They’re not giving you much to work with so why would you break your finger writing in detail about something? That being said, if they write you solid texts then don’t reply with a one worded answer, it’s rude.
#9 Laugh when you mean it. If they said something that’s not really funny, don’t reply in a series of “ha’s.” Instead, be honest and give it what it deserves *a “ha” or “haha”*. Now, if they said something genuinely hilarious, then go wild with that laughter and use as many “ha’s” as you like.
#10 If you’re gonna call them, ask first. We’ve gotten to this point where no one really talks on the phone anymore. Also, if we text, it doesn’t mean we want to actually speak to you on the phone. Who knows, they may be busy. But if you want to speak with them on the phone, shoot them a quick message seeing if it’s okay.
#11 Don’t talk about your problems via text. Texting isn’t supposed to replace actual communication. If you have an issue with this person, don’t text it to them. Keep the deep conversations for an in-person, sit-down chat. I know it can be intimidating but don’t hide behind your screen. [Read: Texting etiquette and 20 rules of savvy text flirting]
#12 Stop with the hashtags. Unless it’s literally the funniest thing you’ve written, don’t use a hashtag in your texts. Again, it’s a little 2012 if you ask me. Plus, your text should be so ironic that the hashtag flows perfectly. If not, you just look like a goddamn fool. #hashtaghurt
#13 Use texting as a bridge. One of the important rules of texting, this bridge should lead you to a hangout. If you text them more than you see them, that’s a problem. Of course, there are always exceptions. Maybe they live out-of-town or have a conflicting work schedule, but texting shouldn’t replace your relationship with this person.
#14 Be a courteous texter. If you know the person’s schedule, text them appropriately. So, if they sleep at night, don’t go wild with the texting unless it’s something extremely important. Most people want to kill you if woken up by a bunch of mindless texts. [Read: 15 tips to transform your love life]
#15 Always reply. Don’t be that person that reads the text and never replies. Even if you reply a couple days late, reply. Ghosting isn’t polite, and honestly, it’s stupid. If you don’t want to talk to them, just tell them. It’s just not nice! Believe me, I’ve had my fair share of ghosting experiences… assholes.
Follow these rules of texting, and you’ll be known as an amazing texter. Now, of course, what you say also matters. If you’re not getting a reply while following these texting rules, maybe you need to read your texts again…
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A serial dater, Natasha Ivanovic knows a thing or two about men and the dating scene. Much of her writing is inspired by her encounters with men - and for good ...