Sometimes, you just need a break. Or you need some time on your own to figure out how to break up with them. But, follow these relationship break rules.
Going on a break was always a weird concept for me to wrap my head around. I mean, I took part of this idea of “going on a break” with a couple of my boyfriends, but, those relationships usually ended. Whatever the reason, follow these relationship break rules during the break.
When you go on a break, naturally, there are various reasons. However, most people feel exhausted and overwhelmed. With my ex, we went on a break because I wasn’t sure how I felt, but I also didn’t want to end the relationship at that moment.
Your relationship break rules guide
I mean, what does “let’s take a break” even mean? I feel that this idea of a break is though you know that you need to take the step in ending the relationship, and you’re giving the space needed just in case things work themselves out.
But, you need to have some relationship break rules even though you’re going on a break. If you’re not on the same page as your partner with what a break means, then it can make things messier. You don’t need that extra stress. If you set the ground rules beforehand, this break will go smoothly.
#1 Make these rules specific and concrete. Are you going to be seeing other people? Are you allowed to have sex with other people? You and your partner probably have different ideas of what a break is. So, you need to set relationship break rules.
#2 When will the break end? Make sure you and your partner mark off on the calendar when the break will end. Regardless if you reconcile or not, you need a day to meet up and talk about what will happen next. Plus, it’s always good to have some closure to a break whether the break went well or not. [Read: Feeling trapped in a relationship?]
#3 Make sure you write down how you feel. Your feelings are the most important thing you need to focus on at this time. Initially, you feel overwhelmed and frustrated, but how will you feel a couple days from now? A couple weeks from now? Have you changed since being away from this person? Perhaps emotionally, you’re better off without them or with them.
#4 Use this time wisely. It’s a break. Use it to see your friends, do activities, hang out with your family. Use every moment to the fullest, this isn’t something that should be overly dramatic.
#5 Be social. Some people use breaks the wrong way. Don’t cry and eat ice cream while watching depressing movies at home. People tend to retreat when they go through something like this but don’t do that. Be social, see your friends, laugh, and have a beer.
#6 Don’t take a break to solve an issue. Taking a break is not what you should be doing because you’re scared to talk about an issue. Do not use breaks as a way to solve problems. Breaks should be used as a way to reflect. So, yes, use breaks to take some time to understand your relationship issues and how you should proceed, but don’t use it to run away.
#7 A break only works if both people agree on it. It’s not a break if you want to go on one and they don’t. This means you didn’t really talk to them about it, did you? Sit down with them and explain to them why you need this time to yourself.
#8 Don’t talk about it with mutual friends. Though they may be your friends, they are also your partner’s friends. I’m not saying they’ll gossip but maybe something accidentally slips out when they’re hanging out and you don’t want that to happen. So, keep your personal life a little private around mutual friends.
#9 Don’t focus on what your partner is doing. I know you’re probably curious about what your partner is doing on the break, but don’t stalk them via social media and friends. If you suggested the break then focus on yourself, not on what they’re doing.
#10 You may not make it to the end date. If you make a decision about the relationship, you don’t need to wait until the end date. If you do not want to be with them, it’s okay to contact them and meet up with them earlier. There’s no point continuing the break if you figured out what you want.
#11 Maybe it’s not about the relationship. Maybe this break isn’t actually about the relationship but more about where you’re going in life and what you want. It doesn’t necessarily mean that you don’t think the relationship is working, but rather, you struggle with your own idea of how your life is shaping out to be. [Read: How to make the absolute most out of your alone time]
#12 When the break is over, talk to your partner. When the break is over, don’t think that everything is back to normal. You need to sit down with your partner and talk about what happened during the time you two were apart. Perhaps there are aspects of your relationship that you feel won’t change and that you don’t want to be with them. But, whatever you decide, talk to them about it.
Breaks suck, I’m not going to lie to you, especially if you’re not the one who wanted to go on it. But, if you follow these relationship break rules and use that time to really look at who you are and what you want, they can be really helpful.
Liked what you just read? Like us on FacebookTwitterPinterest and we promise, we’ll be your lucky charm to a beautiful love life.
A serial dater, Natasha Ivanovic knows a thing or two about men and the dating scene. Much of her writing is inspired by her encounters with men - and for good ...