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How to Tell if There’s No Chemistry and You Should Stop Trying

how to tell if there's no chemistry

Not everyone is meant to be together. If you thought you liked someone but it seems you have no chemistry, you should stop trying. It’ll never work.

It can be really hard to tell if you have no chemistry with someone. You like them in theory but you get together and it’s just not right. You can’t quite put your finger on it but for some reason, you’re really uncomfortable in their presence even though you shouldn’t be.

A lot of the time, chemistry is responsible for this. This is particularly common when you meet someone online, really like them, and then realize you have about zero chemistry in real life. It’s disappointing, but it happens.

In some ways, online dating makes finding love even harder

You know how easy it is to go out and meet someone you have chemistry with. If you two get along and have great conversation, you already know you have enough chemistry to date them. Then the only hard part is determining if their personality, morals, and values line up with yours.

When you date online, a lot of time can be wasted getting to know someone virtually. Sure, they might like the same things you do but if you meet and have no chemistry together, it was a lot of wasted time. [Read: 14 dos and don’ts of online dating]

You can’t make a relationship work without chemistry

You know this. We all know this. Knowing that is easy. What’s hard, however, is determining if you really don’t have chemistry or if you’re just nervous. Sometimes when you meet someone you thought you’d like, you end up getting too nervous to read the signs correctly.

If you’re curious if you have no chemistry with someone, here’s how you can tell. Believe me, you’ll notice whether or not you have chemistry when you know what to look for.

#1 Conversation is difficult. When you have chemistry with someone, conversation flows easier than anything. You don’t really have to work to make it happen. It’s something that just happens and you end up talking forever and not even realizing it.

On the other hand, those you have no chemistry with will make it hard for you to carry on a conversation. It just doesn’t happen very easily and it usually comes out very forced. [Read: 6 easy conversation starters you’ll want to remember]

#2 You don’t really get their jokes. Humor is something that can make you have insane chemistry and it can be the thing that prevents it from existing. If you’re talking to someone and their jokes are just going right over your head, it’s a sign you have no chemistry at all.

#3 You don’t connect on ideas or concepts. This is a major sign you’re just not clicking. At all. When you can’t see their point of view or connect with them on certain ideas, there’s no chemistry.

That chemistry comes into play when you seem to connect on ideas you’ve never even talked to anyone else about. That’s how you know it’s real chemistry and if you’re lacking that, it can be a huge issue. [Read: 10 ways to feel more connected with someone new]

#4 You don’t want to be closer to them. This is physically and mentally. If you’re ever noticed two people talking for a while and they end up sitting closer and eventually touching, even if it’s just their thighs, you know they have chemistry.

It’s like you’re drawn to each other. Therefore, if you only want to move away from them and you don’t even want to get to know them on a deeper level, you have no chemistry.

#5 Time moves very slowly. This usually happens when you’re truly not enjoying yourself. And when you’re not enjoying yourself with someone you thought you’d like, you definitely don’t have chemistry.

Chemistry makes it really fun. And when you’re having fun, time tends to move a lot quicker. If the time is dragging and you can’t stop checking your watch, you probably have next to no chemistry with that person. [Read: How to not be boring with someone new]

#6 Everything feels very formal. Meaning, you aren’t very comfortable just being yourself. You feel the need to be proper and polite and you can’t just sit back and be who you really are.

And that makes everything feel stiff and uncomfortable. This almost always happens when you just don’t have chemistry with someone. Even if you like each other online, that lack of chemistry if fairly obvious when it feels so formal.

#7 You feel disappointed. This is always the worst. You get so pumped to meet someone you got along with and then you do and it’s super disappointing. You just don’t connect with them the way you thought you would.

This usually has nothing to do with their looks or anything like that. You just don’t vibe with them the same way. A relationship just can’t work that way. [Read: 15 signs he likes you but isn’t into you]

#8 Locking eyes is really awkward. When you have chemistry, you can make eye contact with someone for a very long time without it feeling weird. It’s natural. There’s nothing strange about it and, if anything, it just feels great.

This is just not the case when you have no chemistry with someone. Eye contact is uncomfortable, awkward, and you just want to look away more than anything. How could a relationship with someone like that ever work?

#9 You don’t feel a connection. As cheesy as it sounds, this is a huge sign you have no chemistry with someone. People you have chemistry with are those you feel a real connection with. You feel as though you’ve known them for a long time.

And that means the people you don’t have chemistry with don’t feel like much to you. In fact, they feel like strangers, even if you do know them pretty well. [Read: 8 small ways to build a stronger emotional connection]

#10 You’d rather be with someone else. Even if it’s just a friend. If you’re always thinking about someone else you’d rather be with, it’s a problem. Having chemistry with someone would make you want to be with them all the time. When you have no chemistry, you don’t care about leaving them to even be alone.

[Read: 25 flirty questions that show your instant chemistry]

It really sucks when you figure out you have relatively no chemistry with someone you thought you’d really like. In order to avoid wasting your time with someone who’ll never be right for you, use these signs to determine your level of chemistry.

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Bella Pope
Bella Pope
Bella is a lifestyle writer, cheese enthusiast (Wisconsin native over here) and fantasy adventure author-in-progress who enjoys all things love, dog, p...

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