If you fear you’re a boring person, you may also be insecure about scaring off your date. Here’s how to not be boring and avoid that anxiety.
If there’s one thing that will ruin a date fast, it’s a boring date. You want your first date with someone to be exciting, fun, and, most of all, memorable. You never want to go on a date with someone and forget everything you did and said the whole time. That will not warrant a second date. This is how to not be boring on your anticipated first date.
And isn’t the goal of a first date to get a second one? Don’t you want the other person to have a good time and to find you interesting? The trouble with this is that most of us get really nervous, and this makes us shy and in turn… boring.
Why you should always go for excitement on the first date
First dates are pretty exciting by default. However, this also sets someone up for high expectations. It’s easy to get hyped up about a date and then for it to not be as amazing as you thought it would be. That’s why you should try extra hard to not be boring.
The first date should always be something exciting. Why? Because when someone experiences something that makes their adrenaline run wild, it’s basically seared into their memory. Which means no matter what, that person remembers your date and just how much it made their heart go wild. [Read: How to be funny and make people love your company]
How to not be boring and scare them off on the first date
If you’re not a creative person and can’t think of great date ideas, or you just have a habit of getting really nervous and quiet, you may need some outside help to not come across as boring. But have no fear!
That’s why I’m here. If you really want to make the best impression on a first date and not be boring, these are all the things you want to do. Just remember to be yourself and have fun with whatever you do. Let them know the real you.
#1 Do something fun. This doesn’t mean something you think is fun and nobody else does. Do something your date will have fun doing. Go sledding! Go paintballing! Go laser tagging!
#2 Don’t talk about yourself too much. People who talk about themselves all the time are the most boring types. I realize you’re on the date to get to know one another, so you obviously must mention things about yourself.
However, don’t just sit there and go over all your favorites without ever giving them a chance to think or respond. That’s boring for them, and it makes you seem boring in turn.
#3 Ask questions – but not too many. Another way to not be boring is to just ask them questions. However, you don’t want it to seem like they’re in an interview instead of a date. By this, I mean ask questions about them but not one after another.
#4 Find out what they like prior to the date. If you’re going on a first date with someone, you at least got their number or some contact so you can talk. This way, you get to know them somewhat prior to the date.
Why is that important? Because that way you learn some of their likes and dislikes. Then create a date far more enjoyable for them. That way they won’t feel awkward or have to pretend to enjoy something.
#5 Take note on what they like to talk about. It’s usually obvious when someone really enjoys a particular topic. They look excited, start talking fast, and seem to drone on and on about it. While it may not be the most interesting thing to you, keep talking about that.
If they feel as though they could really talk with you about something they’re passionate about, it’s major bonus points for you. You won’t seem boring to them.
#6 Do something interactive. Don’t just go sit at a movie and then go to dinner. If you really want to be fun and not boring, go on a date that’s interactive. Meaning, go on a date that you actually do stuff. Maybe a wine and painting night, laser tag, ice skating, and really anything you participate in. [Read: 22 things to do on a date that aren’t Netflix and chill]
#7 Don’t ask “scripted” questions. You know what I’m talking about. If you have to rehearse questions for a date, they’re scripted. The boring old questions like, “What is your passion in life?” and “Where do you see yourself in five years?” will not make you seem exciting.
Instead, ask questions they’ll be happy to answer. Ask about their hobbies and what they find the most enjoyable in their spare time. Ask about how they like that restaurant and what types of food they’ve never had but would like to try. [Read: 20 ways to perfect your first date conversation]
#8 Challenge them. A date that’s challenging – one that makes you think – is the most entertaining of all dates. If their mind works the whole time, there isn’t any room for them to be bored. That means you should ask them things to make them think and engage in challenging topics. Or plan to do something competitive.
#9 Use body language. Words aren’t the only way to seem not boring. You also use body language to show them you’re a fun person. To do this, keep your toes pointed in their direction, nod along when they’re talking, and even reach out and touch them from time to time. Those are all things that make them see you’re engaged and active in the discussion. [Read: 10 clearly noticeable signs of body language attraction]
#10 Face your fears. This can be a tricky date to go on if you’re afraid of much. However, if possible, it’ll be more than worth it. Go on a date you’re terrified of. Meaning, go on a date and do something that scares you.
If you’re afraid of heights, go rock climbing or on rollercoasters. If you are terrified of drowning, go on a swimming date. Find something that makes you face your fears. I guarantee your date will not be bored with you.
#11 Be spontaneous. Don’t do something they expect. Don’t plan the whole date down to every minute and hour. Instead, plan one thing, but do three. After dinner, decide on the spot what to do next. Keeping your date on their toes certainly makes you not boring. [Read: 18 ways to become more spontaneous in life]
#12 Smile a lot and for seemingly no reason. You want to know what makes someone interesting and makes you think about them a lot? When you catch them smiling like they have their own personal inside joke going on in their head. Why? [Read: 15 easy hacks to be be nice and loved by all instantly]
Because when you see someone who’s just smiling at seemingly nothing, you think they have something entertaining going on in their mind, and they’re just enjoying life. It makes you wonder about them and curious about their thoughts. It also makes you want to be a part of whatever the fun is.