Asking someone out is a very scary thing. In order to increase your chances of getting a yes, you’ll need to know how to ask someone out over text.
Nowadays, texting is our main form of communication. It used to be talking on the phone but when it’s so much easier to type up a quick sentence instead of spending the time to call, it’s the obvious way to go. And that means you text the people you like and, if you actually want to date them, you’ll need to know how to ask someone out over text that’ll actually make them want to go out with you.
Because let’s be real, asking over a text is a lot easier for you. However, it doesn’t always seem like you’re very genuine about it. It’s also easier for the other person to say no because they don’t have to deal with disappointing you. So what do you do when the odds seemed stacked against you?
Getting to know someone in depth is essential before you can ever ask them out
If someone doesn’t feel like they actually know you, they’re not going to agree to a date with you. That seems a little backward from what dating is supposed to be, but hear me out. Nowadays, you get to know someone a little more in depth before you actually go on a date.
Back in the day, the date was primarily how you go to know someone in order to determine if you like them. Now, however, texting and conversing regularly over the phone is how you can tell if you like someone and a date is something that more or less seals the deal for you. [Read: 80 questions to ask before getting serious]
How to ask someone out over text and get them to say yes
That being said, it’s not always easy getting someone to agree to a date. You may have decided you like them but they might not be so sure yet. Basically, it’s up to you to convince them to at least give you a chance.
But you can’t beg them. That not only looks desperate, it’s also a huge turn-off. Here are a few things you can do to increase your odds of landing an actual date.
#1 Take your time to get to know them. You don’t have to rush into asking someone on a date when you only just got their number a few days ago. Spend some time texting them and getting to know them.
Ask about their life and hobbies and passions. Show them that you care about them in a completely platonic way before trying to date them. This will make them feel more comfortable and the more they know about you, the higher your chances of getting them to say yes. [Read: How long does it really take to get to know someone?]
#2 Show them who you are. If they have no idea who you really are, they’re not going to be fond of going on a date with you. And that means you can’t be fake, either. There’s tons of advice out there about how to act in a way that another person will like but honestly, just be yourself. They’ll be able to sense that you’re not being genuine from a mile away and they’ll stay even further from you.
#3 Keep things light and funny. You know what will make just about anyone want to go on a date with you? Thinking that you’re the most fun person they’ve ever met. If you keep your texting conversation light and humorous, they’ll be more likely to go on a date with you.
If you make them laugh through a phone, they’ll have high hopes for you in person. So while you can still talk about deep, meaningful things, remember to have fun with your conversations too. [Read: How to be funny and make people love your company]
#4 Give your compliments sparingly. Many people think that showering someone with compliments is going to get them to actually say yes to a date. In reality, it’s just a tad bit overkill. Okay, fine. It’s a lot overkill.
The main reason too many compliments is a turn off is simply because it doesn’t feel real. How could you believe someone who says you’re the funniest person they’ve ever talked to if your conversations have been limited to texting? Keep it simple and you’ll have more success.
#5 Let them text you first sometimes. Don’t be the first to reach out all the time. While you may think it’s the best way to get their attention, you also need to be able to tell if they like you just as much. If you don’t text them in the morning or for an entire day and they don’t reach out to you at all that day, you know that your interest is a little bit more than theirs.
#6 Show them you like them. Don’t be so shy about your feelings that someone has no idea you even like them. That will make you asking them on a date seem super random and that’s not a good thing.
Leave little breadcrumbs that make them think you must care about them. This can be done with little compliments and you asking more personal questions.
#7 Ask when they’re in a good mood. You really don’t want to ask someone on a date when they’re in a horrible mood. They’ll likely say no and you’ll be upset. Instead, wait until they’re very goofy and flirty. It’ll increase your odds of them saying yes.
#8 Have a unique approach. If you want to know how to ask someone out over text and actually get them to say yes, you need a new approach. Don’t just say, “Will you go on a date with me?” That may sound kind of romantic but it’s not original.
#9 Have a date idea already in mind. You don’t want to just ask someone to go out on a date without knowing what you want to do. In order to get them to say yes, you’ll have to already have something planned. This way, you won’t just ask a generic, “want to go on a date?” You’ll have something more solid and that’ll make them appreciate your effort, which increases your chances of a date.
#10 Ask them to go with you somewhere specific. Remember that date idea you already thought of? Now it’s time to put it to use. You can do this by asking, “Will you come ice skating with me this weekend and maybe even get some ice cream?” It shows that you’ve already put thought into the date and that effort is always appreciated.
#11 Don’t actually ask. Instead, request that they join you or tell them how much fun it would be if they went with you. It can be something as simple as, “Oh, by the way, I have tickets to this band and it would be really fun if you came with me.”
#12 Accept if they don’t want to. Not everyone you like will want to date you. Even if you try all of these things and show them you care, they could possibly still say no. The best thing for you to do is accept it and tell them you understand.
This shows that you can handle rejection and still be respectful. Throwing a fit and even insulting them will ensure they never talk to you again.