20 first date conversation tips to charm your date
Impressing a date takes more than just words. The way you behave and treat the person you’re with on a date can play a big part too.
Use these 20 ways to better your conversation and you’ll definitely leave your date feeling warm and happy.
#1 Start the date well. Pick a date spot that both of you would like, and make sure you arrive on time. Be warm and courteous while talking, and make sure you address your date by their name a few times within the first ten minutes to make the date feel more personal. [Read: 15 things you definitely need to do on a date to make it perfect]
#2 Smile. Smiling is a great way to cut the awkwardness of the first date. Smile often, and your date will feel more relaxed and comfortable around you immediately.
#3 Like your date. If you’re eager to meet you date or are excited to see them, make sure it shows. Feel positive about the date, and the person you’re meeting will feel positive around you too. Remember, positive energy always attracts positive energy.
#4 Remember your manners. Treat your date with respect and remember to be courteous and kind during the date. It’s completely acceptable to goof up or slip up once in a while, just as long as you shrug the accident off with a laugh instead of appearing nervous or awkward. In fact, a silly slip up can actually make the evening more fun and memorable. [Read: 12 important dating rules for classy men and women]
#5 Things to talk about. During the first conversation, avoid asking about their past relationships or their future plans. Both of you aren’t dating yet, so asking questions that are too personal too early into the date can make you appear nosy or intrusive.
#6 Flatter in moderation. Be generous with your compliments. When you appreciate the effort your date took to dress up and look good for you, they’d warm up better towards you. But always learn to be genuine about compliments, without going overboard or overly personal.
#7 Positive words. Be positive when you meet your date and use positive words during the date. Look around the restaurant and tell your date what you like about the place, or tell your date how glad you are to spend time with them. When you see the positive side in everything around you, your optimism will make you seem more attractive.
#8 Common grounds. While conversing with your date, try to find something both of you like or dislike within the first fifteen minutes. Bitch about something both of you hate, or talk excitedly about something both of you love. Finding the passionate common ground will help both of you realize just how common both your likes and dislikes are. [Read: 15 obvious flirting signs between a guy and a girl]
#9 Touch appropriately. Place your hand on the table and lean towards your date almost all throughout the date. It’s a subtle sign that you’re trying to come closer to them. If your date likes you back, they too may lean forward while talking to you.
Unless your date leans in or tries to get closer to you, avoid reaching out and touching them unnecessarily. But if your date does lean in towards you now and then, place your palm on their palm occasionally while trying to emphasize a point. It’s the perfect way to start the game of touchy flirting. [Read: The subtle art of discreetly flirting by touch]
#10 Eye contact. If you’re having a great time with your date, you can’t help but open your eyes wide with excitement. While speaking with your date, hold a strong gaze and nod casually when they say something. It shows that you’re completely focused on them, and aren’t distracted during the date.
#11 Body language. Be aware of your body when you’re sitting across the table or next to your date. Don’t fidget or rock your body forward and backward, and don’t nod your head forever like you’ve got a spring for your neck. Sit back comfortably and move gracefully, be it while stepping away from the table or while reaching across the table. [Read: 10 ways to be more graceful and elegant on a date]
#12 Be decisive. Indecisiveness is a definite turn off for everyone. It may be cute now and then, but on a first date, taking too long to order food, deciding the wine, or contemplating aloud about what to order for several minutes is a definite sign of annoyance. [Read: Top 10 biggest turn offs for all girls on a date]
#13 Speak clearly. A woman’s voice is naturally higher pitched than a man’s, but irrespective of the gender, don’t be loud or brash. Speak softly and clearly in a relaxed manner without mumbling. The softer you speak, the calmer and more relaxed your date will feel. And a pleasantly soft voice will make you appear romantic and caring too.
#14 Watch the reactions. Keep an eye on your date’s behavior. You may assume you’re having an interesting conversation but your date may feel otherwise. If your date seems to be looking around the room, shuffling their feet, staring blankly at you or in any way distracted, talk about something else, or wrap your statement up quickly and discreetly, laugh awkwardly and use the time tested line, “I’m talking too much… why don’t you tell me something…?”
#15 Gesticulate. Gestures are a great way to show your excitement in a conversation. And they also subtly draw the person you’re having a conversation with right into the conversation. Just avoid being overly dramatic while swaying your hands around though, and restrict your hand movements to within half a feet on either side of your body during the first date.
#16 Don’t hog the conversation. Don’t interrupt or speak at length about the same topic unless your date adds their point of view about the same topic frequently. Keep your sentences short, so your date gets to respond or add their own point of view often. The shorter your lines *around a minute at a stretch is good enough unless you’re telling an anecdote*, the more interactive the evening would start to feel. [Read: 20 sure signs of attraction in a first conversation]
#17 Disagree respectfully. In every conversation, there are bound to be differences in opinions. If your date disagrees on something, don’t try to prove a point with a clenched fist on the table. Laugh about it, express your view lightheartedly and try to steer the conversation in another direction. And if the disagreement does last for over a minute, you’ve already taken it too far.
#18 Don’t be afraid of silence. If you feel comfortable instead of feeling awkward during a quiet moment, your date will feel relaxed too. Just smile and look around, or get back to finishing your meal instead of mumbling nervously just to fill the gaps in the conversation. You need to remember that silence too is a part of the conversation.
#19 Tease and be playful. A playful nature is one of the most attractive traits in a person, especially on a date. Laugh, share a funny real life experience, and don’t be afraid to laugh at yourself now and then. A good sense of humor can definitely help you impress your date during your first date conversation and make the evening more fun and interesting. [Read: How to be funny and make your date love your company]
#20 End the date well. Ending the date warmly and memorably is just as important as the first few minutes of the date. As long as you end the evening in a memorable manner, you’ll leave your date thinking fondly of you.
The next time you’re on a date with a special someone you want to impress, use these 20 first date conversation tips and you’ll be able to create an evening that’s romantic, fun and definitely memorable.
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Jessica Dawson is guilty of using way more emojis than are necessary, and is a lover of all things British. And when she isn’t working on mastering a fake Bri...