Sometimes breakups happen, even when they’re not what either of you really want. If you want to give your love a second chance, this is how to do it.
We have all been in this situation. You know, the one where you breakup with your significant other only to feel worse and regret it a couple days later. Sometimes a breakup just isn’t the right solution to what you are dealing with as a couple.
This even goes for couples that have been in Splitsville for months or even years. You get reunited and want to try things again. It happens. But how do you go from breakup to makeup? Is it really that easy?
Love always deserves a second chance
Second chances are easier said than done. Couples can hold onto resentment and won’t let go of what happened in the past when the two of you actually manage to makeup—which can lead to arguments and even another breakup!
Getting back together with an ex is a huge decision to make. There are so many things that can go wrong and you’re putting your heart on the line—again. But if you believe your breakup was a mistake and you want to mend your problems and be with them again, then you should.
So if you’re serious about going from breakup to makeup with an ex, you’ll need these ways to make it happen. With these tips, a good attitude, and some love, you’ll be back together and better than ever! [Read: Round 2 – 10 signs you should get back with your ex]
#1 Talk about your problems. Obviously you two broke up for a reason and you can’t just ignore it. You have to talk about the breakup and everything that led up to it. Get all of your issues out in the open now, so you can actually have a clean slate if you both decide to get back together.
Letting old problems remain and fester after you are back together may just lead to another breakup. It’s best to talk things out, come up with a solution, and move on from it together.
#2 Set boundaries. For all intents and purposes, your relationship is new. It is fresh. It is time to set new boundaries. Talk about what you’re okay and not okay with them doing and just agree on things in general that are important to both of you.
Boundaries are a perfect way to avoid past mistakes and keep your relationship happy and healthy.
#3 Be serious about it. Don’t just jump right back into things without even thinking them through. Both of you have to take the breakup and your makeup seriously if you really want to make it work. No messing around on them just because you guys broke up and got back together.
#4 Have better communication. Bad communication is a major reason many couples end up in Splitsville. While their actual breakup may have been because of something else, that very same issue may be solved with just a little more communication.
#5 Discuss the future. It needs to happen. If you’re getting back together, the future should be one of the first things you talk about. There’s no point in making a relationship work if you guys don’t have futures that line up.
Talk about your plans, your values, your life goals, and what you envision for your future. If the two of you find your future align well together, then it’s worth making things work. If you discover things are looking different, maybe a makeup isn’t a good plan. [Read: 50 relationship questions to test your compatibility instantly]
#6 Assess your true feelings for them. Are you really in love with them? Or are you only upset about the breakup because you were so used to having them around and now you just feel bored or like your life is missing something?
You really have to assess your true feelings for your partner. If you can’t reciprocate the same feelings they have towards you or you realize you just don’t feel as much for them anymore, the breakup should stay permanent.
#7 Take things one day at a time. I know it’s easy to slip back into old habits as if nothing has happened, but something has: you guys broke up. Don’t take that lightly. Move slowly in your progression after getting back together.
#8 Make necessary changes in the relationship. In order to go from breakup to makeup, you both have to make changes and really commit to them. Since something was obviously wrong and caused you to break up, you have to change whatever you need to in order to make things work.
Don’t change who you are, but if there was something causing a problem between the two of you, you have to change certain things in order to not relive those issues.
#9 Don’t divulge all the dirty details. Whether you broke up for two hours or two years, what you did in the time you were not with them is not their business. Don’t talk about what—or who—you did in that time frame. All that they need to know is you are now fully committed to getting back together with them.
#10 Make sure you’re happy and you want it. Make sure this is truly what you want. Never get back together with someone if you feel pressured to do so just because they really want you back. You will not only be unhappy in that relationship, but you’ll feel resentment toward them for making you feel that way.
The decision to go from breakup to makeup should be all yours. Even if they are pushing to get back together, the only way the relationship is going to work again is if you’re 100% committed to making it work. So put your happiness first when it comes to getting back together with your ex.