Oh, the things we can learn from the movies! When you’d rather pick up lessons by watching than experiencing, take some cues from these couples.
One of the most common activities for couples is watching movies. Though most men would steer clear of chick flicks, romance films and dramas, they may sometimes watch these movies with the insistence of their girlfriends. But there’s a lot both men and women can learn from movies that portray couples, particularly about the dynamics of a relationship.
Popular movie couples to learn from
There are tons of movie couples out there, but there are a few notable ones that we can truly learn from. Below is a list of movie couples that teach us lessons that range from love to loss to despair to moving on.
Reminder: There might be a couple of spoilers, so read at your own risk!
#1 Noah and Allie (The Notebook, 2004). This is probably one of the most romantic movies of all time. Based on the book written by Nicholas Sparks, The Notebook tells the tale of two lovers who fall in love in their teens. Through trials in both their lives, Noah and Allie find each other again.
Even though Allie is already engaged to another man, she chooses Noah, who was the one passionate love of her life. Later in life, Allie suffers from dementia. Noah reads to her about the life they once shared, in the hope that Allie would remember.
What we can learn from them: There’s no doubt that Allie and Noah have had their fair share of problems in their relationship. Just imagine if your parents hated the guy you were dating, but due to the intense love you have for him, you choose to fight for your relationship. And before you can live happily ever after, one of you contracts dementia!
Even through all the problems you may be facing, love can still reign supreme. Of course, you also need to put in a mix of patience, effort and maybe some strength of will. And even when things don’t go as smoothly as you had planned, your determination to keep things together might be enough to help you pull through. [Read: Love lessons “The Notebook” can teach a cynical heart]
#2 Mr. and Mrs. Smith (2005). Mr. John and Mrs. Jane Smith are your typical suburban family. Rich, good looking and sophisticated, they seem like the quintessential perfect couple. But on the inside, they’re actually facing some problems as a couple, due to a lack of communication and the banality of their lives.
Then, it is later revealed that they’re both assassins working for rival companies. Yikes! So they’ve been hired to eliminate each other, only to find out that they love each other more, and they literally have to fight off dozens of other assassins to be able to keep their relationship alive.
What we can learn from them: Jane once asks their marriage counselor, “There’s this huge space between us, and it just keeps filling up with everything we don’t say to each other. What’s that called?” To which their counselor responds, “Marriage.”
Look, everyone has secrets. But it helps when your partner also knows what you’re going through. When John and Jane, tired of the boredom of typical suburban life, find out that they’re both high-class assassins, they initially try to fight it out to the death. But in the end, it’s this hint of excitement that reignites the flame between them.
#3 Carl and Ellie (Up, 2009). Carl and Ellie are childhood sweethearts. Ellie is outgoing and adventurous, while Carl is more quiet and reserved. Despite this difference, they still manage to keep up a relationship and get married.
As children, they’ve always planned on going on an adventure to South America. As adults, they decide to save up for this trip. But due to unexpected expenses, they were never able to go on their adventure. Later on in life, Ellie gets sick and passes away, leaving a heartbroken Carl to go on the adventure they have always dreamed of.
What we can learn from them: Their love story was only shown in the first couple of minutes of the movie. But throughout the entire flick, Carl’s love for Ellie lives on in the adventure he traverses in order to fulfill their dream. I’ll be honest, I bawled by eyes out when Ellie died.
Their story shows you that even if you have lost your partner, they can still live on in the things you do. Carl never gave up their dream of visiting South America. He perseveres in order to keep her memory alive. That’s the kind of love that transcends even death. It’s a bittersweet, yet poignant, way of saying that love can make you do crazy things, even if the one you wanted to share it with is no longer with you. [Read: 7 lessons you’ll learn on an awesome road trip]
#4 Adam and Emma (No Strings Attached, 2011). Adam and Emma are friends with benefits. They’re just two people who have sex with each other with no strings attached, as per their agreement. But slowly, they start to genuinely like each other. Emma, who is afraid of getting hurt, rebuffs Adam for trying to make their relationship more than it is. They end up having a fight and ending their agreement.
Eventually, Emma realizes that she likes Adam. In fact, she loves him. In a twisted chain of events involving a wedding, a cough syrup overdose and a passionate reconciliation, Emma faces Adam to tell him that she loves him, and that she wants their relationship to progress. Adam agrees and they end up being a couple.
What we can learn from them: For your reference, not all sex buddy relationships end up in romance. So don’t get your hopes too high up. With that being said, there are still a couple of others who start off the relationship with sex, and end up becoming more than just friends. Romance can blossom in the oddest places, even if you try to resist it.
No one wants to get hurt, but sometimes you meet people who are worth the risk. If you don’t tell them how you feel, you might lose them forever. It’s easy to keep up a front when you don’t want your sex buddy to know that you’re in love with them. It makes you appear strong and in control. But if you feel that there can be more between you than just sex, take the risk! [Read: 25 rules of being friends with benefits]
#5 Tom and Summer (500 Days of Summer, 2009). Summer is not a believer of true love, despite Tom insisting that it exists. They start off as friends, and their relationship blossoms into something more. However, Summer states that she isn’t looking for anything serious. Tom, being the hopeless romantic, decides that maybe she’ll change her mind. She doesn’t.
Despite trying to turn their relationship into more than just great conversations and sex, Tom inadvertently ends up pushing Summer away. Summer then disappears from Tom’s life, leaving him distraught, and decides to just focus on his career as an architect. Later on, he runs into Summer, who is now happily married. She tells Tom that he was right about true love. She just found it in someone else. With that, she wishes for Tom to be happy.
What we can learn from them: There’s a lot you can learn from these two, so it’s hard to know where to start. When you’re in an are-we-or-aren’t-we relationship, it can come to a point where you can no longer hide your feelings. But when your partner isn’t ready for a relationship, take their word for it. You can’t force someone to change their mind by insisting that you’re a couple when you’re not.
It hurts like hell when the one you love doesn’t feel the same way. But you can’t hold this against them. The only rational thing you can do to avoid being hurt even more is to just walk away and focus more on improving yourself. Someday, you’ll look back and realize that no matter how hard you try, you can’t force someone to love you. [Read: 16 awful habits that ruin relationships]
Modern movies are now addressing the more complex types of relationships that older movies seem to just gloss over. Live vicariously through these movies and learn a thing or two about love in the modern age!
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